Week 12- Stranger Danger and battered women

Yesterday (April 17, 2012), I had the opportunity of hosting my daughter’s girl scout troop meeting.  While each child’s parent is responsible for one meeting each season, I will still consider it an opportunity to share my bit of wisdom.  Anyway, most mothers do things like tea parties, pillow making, or candle dipping.  I am not one of those mothers.  And not in a “I’m too cool to be crafty” kind of way.  More like, “I wish I were that cool, but not, kind of way.”

So having to come up with an idea that would satisfy my need for some type of achievement and Sam’s request that “it can’t be something lame” I decided on an empowerment forum dedicated to stranger danger.

Personal safety is a huge issue.  My daughter and her fellow pre-teens have begun walking to school.  They also love crossing the street on Wednesdays after school to the local farmers market.  Or getting dropped off at the movie theatre.  Of course, they’re always in groups, but nothing stresses me out more than knowing that my daughter is out in public sans adult supervision.  Every time she goes off to an activity, I give her the rules.  But of course, I realize she’s 11.  Oops, 12 as of last week.  I remember arguing with my mom as a teenager and angrily declaring, “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.”  My mother responded with, “It’s other people I don’t trust.”  Maybe when Sam’s older, I could believe that, but honestly, I really just don’t trust her.

So with the aid of my CSULB Lt. police officer friend, his Sergeant, and the ridiculously buff self defense instructor from the Wellness Center, I set out to empower and at the very least, educate girlscout troop 4671 on stranger danger.  The topic is particularly interesting and ironically well timed, as we just did a study on the Battered Women’s Movement last week.  And while the two topics are far from being the same, they are certainly related. 

A major argument among battered women’s advocates is the fine line between victim and survivor.  Victimization of the person lends to the belief that the perpetrator has all the control.  However, it is important to consider the role the victim had in enabling the act or acts.  This is not to say, that women ask for such behavior. But in the recovery aspect, the battered individual is forced to reflect all roles within the relationship.  There is ultimately one thing for certain in nearly all these cases.  Prevention is key.  While not always guaranteed and as everyone knows the rule of hindsight, confident and empowered women (individuals) are far less likely to fall prey to such unfortunate relationships.  

This is where the girlscouts come into play.  The meeting we had focused on awareness of potentially dangerous situations, response tactics, including self defense in the event of a physical altercation (our poor instruction must have bruises all over his legs today).  The underlying message though, is don’t allow yourself to become a victim- either in a singular incident or a span of a relationship.  Yesterday, I watched my daughter learn how to fight her way out of a corner, learn the protocol if a best friend is attacked (she should not try to physically save her), and even how to humanize herself in a worst case scenario.  As a parent, I hate to expose my 12 year old to these realties when she still plays kitty kat with her two year sister.  But I admit I slept better know that she isn’t afraid to stand up for herself.  And that confidence is the foundation to lessening the chances of ever being a victim.   

Here is a link to an interesting Dateline story regarding stranger danger.

http://insidedateline.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/11/11143341-my-kid-would-never-do-that-stranger-danger?lite